Filed under: Our Happie Home
Cake for Bwana!
Filed under: Things That Make Toaster Cry, Things That Toaster Thinks About
Toaster is sad.
And he was only about 212-years-old!
But he had a good life. And he gives good advice:
Stand tall and proud.
Sink your roots into the earth.
Be content with your natural beauty.
Go out on a limb.
Drink plenty of water.
Remember your roots.
Enjoy the view.
Toaster thinks trees are very smart.
Trees
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
Filed under: Things That Confuse Toaster
Ieew.
He never wanted it too hippy-dippy the way some of the ESPN guys were doing it back then.
— Friends and colleagues are gathering to eulogize former Channel 4 sports anchor George Michael
Filed under: Things That Toaster Thinks About
(Not to be confused with the Goldberg Variations.)
rrgirl contributes:
at dinner recently, my favorite Buckeye mentioned a friend who performed with the hockey band. shoe-lovers that we are, the discussion took a turn toward icey footwear, and then to the script Ohio on ice. savor that phrase. here they are:
Oy! What a work of beauty!
Toaster is verklempt ….
He wonders if the band can do “Script Ohio on Water Skis.”
If not, maybe the squirrels in Ohio can give it a try.
Filed under: Things That Toaster Likes
Oh boy!
The Metropolitan Opera will broadcast Carmen tomorrow!
It is one of Toaster’s favorites. He particularly likes this number:
(It’s not Script Ohio, but then again: what is?)
Who knew that the Swedish Chef was so musical?
Filed under: Our Happie Home
Toaster is really miffed that the Tournament of Roses Parade nixed his idea for a Toast Float honoring The Best Damn Band in the Land.
Ick.
And those green and yellow Oregon band uniforms gave him a headache.
But he is enjoying tonight’s game and is hoping for a big victory.
7 minutes left in the fourth quarter and Ohio State leads 26-17!!!
Filed under: Our Happie Home
Dottie wrote:
Hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving.
Toaster must be exhausted after all the Thanksgiving toast for stuffing. Rest up, little Toaster, and take your vitamins in anticipation of Christmas!
Boy-o-boy! Toaster was really busy making toasted turkey sandwiches with the Thanksgiving leftovers. Bwana practically overdosed on toasted turkey sandwiches.
And then there was all the pre-Christmas activities.
And now here is it: The Big Day.
So much hustle and bustle! It’s easy to forget what Christmas is all about. But Toaster remembers:
Filed under: Things That Scare Toaster
Burnt Toast Causes Airport Evacuation
A faulty toaster is the cause for ire at the Glasgow-Prestwick Scotland Airport—the little machine is responsible for causing multiple terminal evacuations and flight delays, according to a November 21st report in the Scotland Daily Record. In the past month alone, the airport has been evacuated on three separate occasions after burnt toast in the employee break room activated fire alarms, reports the Daily Record.
The most recent burnt toast fiasco occurred on Friday, November 20th, resulting in flight delays and the evacuation of thousands of people from the airport terminal. An airport spokesperson told the newspaper that the airport is currently reviewing its procedures to prevent another incident. The Daily Record also reports the airport is reminding its staff about the correct use and positioning of toasters to prevent further hazards. If the problem persists, both airport and fire authorities are suggesting an all-out ban on toasters in the interest of public safety.
Hokey smokes, guys! Do we ban small children when one of them plays with matches and burns down the house?
Filed under: Things That Toaster Thinks About
Filed under: Our Happie Home
Blue Velvet wrote:
When I was sick my grandma always made me tea and toast. Bwana’s been under the weather with a respiratory ailment – is Toaster helping Bwana to get better?
The suits at NBC would like you to think it was a “respiratory ailment,” but the truth of the matter is that Bwana has been eating too many Twinkies.
Toaster felt so sure that the Minnesota Twins would make it to the World Series that he bought 34 cases of them (34 being the number of famous Twin, Kirby Puckett) so that he would have some celebratory thingies to flame and fling out the window. But alas, the Twinks got eliminated in the first round, leaving us with a whole lot of Twinkies in the house. Not wanting them to go to waste — and being all-encompassing with his appetites — Bwana took over.
Can you say “Sick leave?”
I knew you could.
To clear our happie home of the rest of the spongy delights Toaster decided to try to sell them at Yankee Stadium during the World Series. He thinks if he does well they will change the lyrics to the song:
Buy me some Twinkies and Cracker Jack,
I don’t care if I never get back …
Toaster is sure he will make a lot of money selling his World Series Twinkies. They are deep fried, dipped in chocolate, and rolled in popcorn. He’ll be hawking them out in the bleachers.
The people in the bleachers will eat anything ….
