Filed under: And Now for Something Completely Different, Theodore Roethke
About BlogDay
5 from Mattress, Toaster, and the rest of our Happy Home:
Krazy (No, this one is not about Bwana.)
Baseball Toaster
The Mets are Better than Sex (Extremist.)
Burl Veneer’s Tie Blog
Joe Logon (F’ing brilliant.)
Filed under: Fashion and Style, MLB.TV, Obscure Cultural References, Things to Eat, Tofu, Who Maketh My Spirit to Shine
Blue Velvet writes: “This one’s for you, Mattress:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=CDgQp__xaco”
Could I get a slice of cherry pie to go with that?
Filed under: Baseball, Death, Fashion and Style, Information Technology, Keith Olbermann, Moby Dick, Ted Williams, The New York Yankees, Tofu, Wheelhouse
“I’ve found that you don’t need to wear a necktie if you can hit.”
Ted Williams strike zone
Keith Olbermann strike zone
Filed under: Fun Things in the Bathroom, Information Technology, It's called "Stalking", Keith Olbermann
Someone came to this blog today after searching on the terms “keith olbermann parents.” A while back, a search of “keith olbermann’s mother” led someone here.
K.O. Fan or K.O. Hater, it doesn’t matter. Leave the guy’s family out of it. You’re creeping me out, man.
To those coming here after seaching on “keith olbermann los angeles,” “keith olbermann moving to los angeles,” “why is keith olbermann in los angeles,” and variations thereof:
I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.
Filed under: Boston Red Sox, Dan Patrick, Information Technology, Keith Olbermann, The New Yorker
Candelabra and Toaster are back home safe and sound. Before leaving Beantown Candelabra took Toaster to the famous Souvenir Store on Yawkey Way where they picked up a few things.
I have to admit that Toaster looks mighty cute marching around in his little Boston cap and waving that Sawx pennant, but I’m not sure how Bwana is going to take it.
Being a thoughtful little guy, Toaster also got a Red Sox blanket for me and a Red Sox tie for Bwana. Candelabra warned him that Bwana probably won’t wear the tie, but Toaster insisted.
“It’s a really nice tie, plus if he wears it then the Evil Dan Patrick will have to stop calling Bwana a ‘Yankee Apologist’.”
Filed under: Gravy, Information Technology, Keith Olbermann, Warren Zevon
Scoop writes: “Well, it was a good guess but it’s looking as if KO never left Los Angeles after all. Which kind of makes you wonder what is the big attraction. I suspect it isn’t a sudden passion for the Dodgers or the Halos.”
Well, they say this place is evil
That ain’t why I stay
‘Cause I found something
That will never be nothing
And I found it in L. A.It was midnight in Topanga
I heard the DJ say
There’s a full moon rising*
Join me in L. A.wake up . . . wake up
I was at the Tropicana
On a dark and sultry day
Had to call someone long distance
I said “Join me in L. A.”
Join me in L. A.
*
Filed under: Blogroll, Google, Information Technology, Keith Olbermann, MLB.TV, Obscure Cultural References, The American Political Tradition, Toaster, Warm Bread, You Got Spunk - I Hate Spunk
Cristiane writes: “Hey, you can’t let Toaster run wild. Push his buttons and he gets red-hot. Much too fiery a temper. Good thing you found him before he burnt his bridges.”
Gosh. On the contrary, Toaster’s complete lack of a fiery nature has proven to be a bit of a deficit in the functionality department. Many a morning Bwana has had only warmish gluten-free bread for breakfast instead of gluten-free toast because the little guy doesn’t generate enough heat.
But Bwana is very patient with Toaster. I mean, he could easily go out and get a fancy, schmancy new toaster. Heck, for the price of one Alex Gordon cut-out card he could buy a gold-plated toaster. But no. Toaster is the appliance Bwana has and he’s the appliance Bwana wants. He isn’t much, but Bwana has the satisfaction of knowing that every slice of bread that he puts into Toaster is warmed with honest and sincere effort. And I should say this — Toaster doesn’t often make toast the right way. But he is a respectable little toaster. And Bwana always tells him that all the bread he warms comes out just fine. What a guy.
… and as far as they can see they can offer no explanation …
Blue Velvet comments: “The writing on this site is sheer genius. Mattress, I humbly bow to your literary talent and unique sense of humor.”
Merci, Blue. Damn fine cup of coffee.
Filed under: Candelabra, Carhenge, Edward R. Murrow, Fenway Park, Flaming Tennis Balls, Information Technology, Keith Olbermann, Keith T. Olbermann, Lennie Briscoe, Theme Song, Toaster, You Got Spunk - I Hate Spunk
The Toaster has been very upset with Keith’s many and prolonged absences this summer. So last Friday he disappeared in a sort of Inverted Finding Nemo thing and ran off to search for Bwana.
We wouldn’t have known where to start to look for him, but luckily the Table Lamp overheard him saying something about the Red Sox. We figured that he figured that Keith would be up in Boston for the Yanks-Sawx series. The Candelabra went to search for him. I would have gone but a candelabra is one heck of a lot more mobile than a mattress. Candelabra has outstanding investigative instincts — plus he sounds remarkably like Lennie Briscoe.
It was a long weekend full of worry, but Candelabra finally found him this morning. Toaster was wandering on Lansdowne Street just outside of Fenway. We’re lucky he didn’t fall into the Charles River. We’re also lucky he didn’t remember that Keith was recently in Los Angeles, otherwise he would have headed out west and might be lost in Nebraska now.
Small appliances can be rather bothersome, but they are useful and have a certain charm. The rest of the household is annoyed with him, but I think it’s important to let Toaster be Toaster.
(Wikipedia has a “Fictional Americans” category. There’s no category for “Fictional Relationships” — for those pretend liaisons over which certain people fantasize/obsess. Perhaps those are best listed as romantic fiction.)
Filed under: Countdown with Keith Olbermann, En Fuego, Katie Couric, The Solo Boogie, Things to Play With, Trojans
Scoop writes: “Love this retro video, in which Fleetwood Mac manages to deploy more Trojans than a high school counselor before a West Texas prom night. And really, you can’t fault Kirk Gibson for not rounding the bases giving the ol’ double fist pump, given that the World Series in which he would do it would not be played for another nine years.”
Yeah, but Tommy Lasorda knew it would happen. He knew it.
Didn’t John Ashcroft outlaw prophylactics? That was a raw deal, but a nice compromise allowing Dr. Jocelyn Elders to establish a curriculum in masturbation for all American high schools.
Is this a great country or what?
