Blue Velvet sends us:
A little appliance-based humor:
Wow! Neat-o keat-o!
Toaster is going to learn the song so that he can sing it to Bwana during breakfast on Monday.
Toaster also thinks that Mr. Banks should get the Nobel Prize for this song. Where do we send in a nomination?
The Tofu Guys want to know if Mr. Banks will write a Tofu Song.
Toast
by Heywood Banks
All around the country and coast to coast
People always say, “what do you like most?”
I don’t want to brag, I don’t want to boast
I always tell ‘em, “I like toast.”
YEAH, TOAST!!
YEAH, TOAST!!
I get up in the morning ‘bout six A.M.
Have a little jelly, have a little jam
Take a piece of bread, put it in the slot
Push down the lever and the wires get hot,
I get toast.
YEAH, TOAST!
YEAH, TOAST!
When the first caveman drove in from the drags
Didn’t know what would go with the bacon and the eggs
Must have met a genius, got it in his head
Plug the toaster in the wall, buy a bag of bread
Make toast.
YEAH, TOAST!
YEAH, TOAST!
Now, there’s no secret to toasting perfection
There’s a dial on the side and you make your selection
Push to the dark or the light and then
If it pops too soon, press down again
Make toast.
YEAH, TOAST!
YEAH, TOAST!
Oui Monsieur, bonjour coquette,
Une croissant? Et vous auvent?
Maurice Chevalier, Eiffel Tower,
Oui Marie, baguette, bonsoir!
FRENCH TOAST!
FRENCH TOAST!
In Chicago or (fill in location)…..
TOAST!!!!
Sheila chastises:
WQE should be ashamed of him/herself for making poor Toaster cry, it may cause him to short out the next time he makes toast.
Not to worry. The tears are all dry now.
Besides, Toaster get weekends off* so his next Excellent Toast Adventure won’t be until Monday.
*Candelabra negotiated a very favorable contract between Bwana and us. If Bwana wants toast on Saturday or Sunday he has to submit a written request at least 72 hours in advance. Candelabra is the Norma Rae of labor negotiators.
Filed under: Our Happie Home
rrgirl steps up to the plate for Toaster:
hmph. no need to waste toast on someone who wouldn’t appreciate it anyway. sticks and stones, yada yada.
plbbbbt WQE.
Hoodie’s been teaching Toaster how to do a Bronx Cheer.
Except for spitting crumbs all over the floor, Toaster’s getting pretty good at it.
(Boy, what a great reason to have children: You can teach them all sorts of interesting life skills!)
rc comments on Toaster Tears:
poor toaster! hoodie is a good bear. what will grammie say?
Hoodie is smarter than the average bear. You might even call him a genius.
Bwana made us promise to not tell Grammie what happened, lest she get medieval on WQE.
Grammie has a strong protective streak running in her.
We love Grammie.
Filed under: Our Happie Home
Blue Velvet sends a consoling note:
WQE is not sophisticated enough to see the brilliance of this site.
Thank you for the kind compliment. Like most small appliances, Toaster doesn’t take well to criticism.
Hoodie let Toaster wear the hoodie during Thursday night’s Tennessee-Ohio State game which made him feel better. Toaster was disappointed that the Vols lost, but the Tofu Guys were relieved: It would have been far too much work for them to do Script Tennessee.
Our Happie Home is all happie once again.
