Bwana Needs a Better Sign-off Manuever

Nice delivery, but it’s time to throw the change-up:

(Sound Thingie and Mouse Clickie Dexterity Test. OK, folks, stay with me here. Internet Explorer users: Right click the Sound Thingie link and select “Open in New Window.” For Firefox users: Right click the link and select “Open Link in New Window” or “Open Link in New Tab.” Mac users: I’m not sure what to tell you, but this certainly sounds erotic: “Especially when it responds to pressure from your fingers in four different places.” Then — quick! — click the play button in the embedded GoogleVideo player below. Then click your heels together three times and repeat after me: “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.” Then stand back. Back, back, back, back, back.)

If you’d like to launch a potato in a blazing fireball of combusting hairspray, this is your best source.

If this doesn’t win Bwana another Murrow award, it’ll at least give him an in with Cirque du Soleil. And CBS will just beg the Big Guy to take over for Couric. (Over/under: 10 months.)

Do not try this at home. You’ll shoot your eye out. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Professional driver on closed course. Product sold by weight, not by volume. Phenylketonurics: Contains phenylalanine. For external use only. Surgeon General’s Warning: An excessive amount of perkiness is dangerous to your health. Product manufactured in a facility that processes peanuts. Close cover before striking. Indemnification: You agree to hold harmless and indemnify Mattress, and his subsidiaries, affiliates, officers, agents, and employees from and against any third party claim arising from or in any way related to your launching of flaming potato (or any tuber facsimile, including but not limited to: Tater Tots[tm], French fries, and Pringles[tm]) including any liability or expense arising from all claims, losses, damages (actual and consequential), suits, judgments, litigation costs and attorneys’ fees, of every kind and nature.


1 Comment so far
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I can’t help but think CBS picked Katie Couric to act as anchor in the same manner.

What about adding to “Disclaimer” the following:
Do not operate heavy machinery while using this product.

No priapism jokes, please. The commercials are bad enough.

Comment by Blue Velvet

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