Yankee Toaster
Monday 29 October 2007, 17:32 pm
Filed under: Our Happie Home

It’s been very busy here the past several days. Toaster’s been working hard on his resumé. With major changes occurring at Yankee Stadium, he thinks this might be his Big Chance to get hired by the New York Yankees. He wants very much to be a bat boy.

Bat boys do a lot of work in the clubhouse. They take care of all the equipment, run errands for the players, and during games they fetch errant baseballs on the field. Toaster can do all these things. And more: He can make toast for the players, coaches, and anyone else on the staff.

It is well known that a nice piece of toast can decrease stress, and this would help the team do better. If the Colorado Rockies had eaten some toast during the World Series they would have played better. Of course, the Red Sox are notorious toast fans, so the Rockies still would have had an uphill battle. Mike Lowell had two slices of toasted rye bread (buttered on the near side) before each of the World Series games and look what happened: M.V.P.

And word on the street is that even though Alex Rodriguez has opted out of his contract with the Yankees if the Yanks put the Toast Issue on the table he would direct his agent to open negotiations with the team.

Behold the power of toast!


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

You and Toaster should bask in the warmth of this book (pun intended):

Comment by Blue Velvet

I thought Toaster was a Metsie! Why doesn’t he want to work at Shea for the Mets? The way last season went we could have used some Toaster Mojo, Tofu Mojo, and whatever else you have.

Comment by judie4mets

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