Toaster Crumbs
Monday 22 June 2009, 17:18 pm
Filed under: Our Happie Home

Blue Velvet inquired:

We know Toaster toasts, but does Toaster Tweet?

Toaster doesn’t Tweet but he does like to hurl Crumbs around. It’s his little way of letting us know what he is doing.

Toaster - Crumb

Crumbs are kind of like Tweets, except that Bwana makes Toaster clean up the Crumbs when he is finished tossing them about.


Bad Chickens
Friday 12 June 2009, 07:05 am
Filed under: Things That Toaster Thinks About

Or maybe not.

Poultry Is No. 1 Source of Outbreaks, According to C.D.C. Report

Poultry was the most commonly identified source of food poisoning in the United States in 2006, followed by leafy vegetables and fruits and nuts, according to a report released Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Toaster thinks that it’s only fair for the chickens to try to get back at you humans because you eat so many of them.

Mad Cookies
Tuesday 9 June 2009, 13:13 pm
Filed under: Things That Scare Toaster

Blue Velvet wrote in Celebrate! Celebrate! :

It was also National Gingerbread Day:

How to Celebrate National Gingerbread Day, June 5


Toaster hopes that the Amalgamated Union of Gingerbreadmen is not mad at him for forgetting about National Gingerbread Day.

Gingerbreadmen are easily irritated and can act out in odd and sometimes frightening ways:

“I‘d suggest you keep them away from the gingerbread men.”

Celebrate! Celebrate!
Friday 5 June 2009, 08:52 am
Filed under: Our Happie Home

Today is National Donut Day. Donuts are a fine breakfast food. Toaster wants everyone to spend the day honoring our friend, the donut.

Toaster Tip:
If you are clever and have a sharp knife you can slice a donut in half, slip the slices into your toaster and VOILA!

Toasted donut!

(Another Toaster Tip: Do not try this with a chocolate-covered donut, a donut with sprinkles, or a donut filled with jelly or custard.)

The Small Unit
Thursday 4 June 2009, 23:26 pm
Filed under: Things That Toaster Thinks About

Toaster doesn’t understand all the commotion being made over Randy Johnson winning his 300th game tonight when the Giants played the Nationals.

He’s a Big Unit! Of course he’s going to win a lot of games!

Toaster, on the other hand, is but a small appliance, yet has toasted far more than 300 slices of bread (not to mention quite a few Eggo waffles and the occasional Toaster Strudel).

Small Units want equal time!

Toaster can’t wait until Tim Lincecum wins his 300th ….

Sing-a-Long Bwana
Wednesday 3 June 2009, 11:02 am
Filed under: Things That Toaster Thinks About

After thinking about the Cubs’ and Mets’ sing-a-long songs, Toaster decided that Bwana needs to have a “Countdown” sing-a-long.

Mr. O’Reilly doesn’t have a sing-a-long. Mr. Limbaugh doesn’t have a sing-a-long.

Halfway through the show would be a nice time for a song. Bwana could hire The Best Damned Band in the Land to play the music while they spell out Script Bwana.

(Toaster wonders whether the band takes requests.)

But that song doesn’t have words, so people could only hum-a-long to it.

The end of the show would be another good time for a song. Toaster thinks this one sums up Bwana pretty darn good:

And ah One, and ah Two …
Tuesday 2 June 2009, 10:10 am
Filed under: Things That Toaster Thinks About

Sheila wrote in Condolences, Cleveland:

I sometimes feel like there is a curse on all of Ohio’s professional sports teams…But that’s nothing compared to the curse on the Chicago Cubs.

Yes, but the Cubbies will always have Harry Caray:

Toaster likes their sing-a-long. The Mets 5th inning sing-a-long is dopey: a rip-off of the Red Sox’s “Sweet Caroline.” Toaster thinks the 8th inning sing-a-long, “Meet the Mets,” is the best. In fact, he thinks they should sing that every inning.

That, or maybe “The Toast Song.”

Yeah, toast!