Friday 30 March 2012, 17:00 pm
Filed under: Things That Scare Toaster

Current TV Dismisses Keith Olbermann

For nearly a year now, Al Gore and Joel Hyatt have been building their liberal cable news channel, Current TV, with the mercurial television anchorman Keith Olbermann at its center.

This week, the center collapsed.

It’s not a good time for Toaster to ask Bwana for a raise in his allowance.

Toaster might have to resort to scavenging for loose change in Prometheus Fountain.


Throwing the toaster out with the bathwater
Wednesday 16 December 2009, 22:12 pm
Filed under: Things That Scare Toaster

Burnt Toast Causes Airport Evacuation

A faulty toaster is the cause for ire at the Glasgow-Prestwick Scotland Airport—the little machine is responsible for causing multiple terminal evacuations and flight delays, according to a November 21st report in the Scotland Daily Record. In the past month alone, the airport has been evacuated on three separate occasions after burnt toast in the employee break room activated fire alarms, reports the Daily Record.

The most recent burnt toast fiasco occurred on Friday, November 20th, resulting in flight delays and the evacuation of thousands of people from the airport terminal. An airport spokesperson told the newspaper that the airport is currently reviewing its procedures to prevent another incident. The Daily Record also reports the airport is reminding its staff about the correct use and positioning of toasters to prevent further hazards. If the problem persists, both airport and fire authorities are suggesting an all-out ban on toasters in the interest of public safety.

Hokey smokes, guys! Do we ban small children when one of them plays with matches and burns down the house?

Potty Mouth!
Tuesday 15 September 2009, 18:47 pm
Filed under: Things That Scare Toaster

Blue Velvet writes in Love Toaster:

Serena Williams certainly had no nice words…..

Hokey smokeys! Grammie would never, ever let us talk like that!!!

And, boy, Roger needs to have his mouth washed out with Lifebuoy, too!

Slight Deficiency in the Department of Bravery
Tuesday 11 August 2009, 15:33 pm
Filed under: Things That Scare Toaster

Blue Velvet noted:

While watching Bwana deliver his Special Comment last night, I flashed back to my public speaking class in college. We were required to practice in front of a mirror. A toaster is highly polished – does Toaster help Bwana with his Special Comments? Also, is he a “Brave Little Toaster” for doing so, because Bwana can be quite intense!

Toaster loves watching Bwana practice his craft. But Bwana’s Special Comments are very fiery and Toaster is not exactly the Bravest Little Toaster on the block. Toaster would like to help, but when Bwana practices his Special Comments at home Toaster more often than not is found thusly:


Mad Cookies
Tuesday 9 June 2009, 13:13 pm
Filed under: Things That Scare Toaster

Blue Velvet wrote in Celebrate! Celebrate! :

It was also National Gingerbread Day:

How to Celebrate National Gingerbread Day, June 5


Toaster hopes that the Amalgamated Union of Gingerbreadmen is not mad at him for forgetting about National Gingerbread Day.

Gingerbreadmen are easily irritated and can act out in odd and sometimes frightening ways:

“I‘d suggest you keep them away from the gingerbread men.”

Thursday 11 December 2008, 12:50 pm
Filed under: Things That Scare Toaster


After what they said was an exhaustive search of the nooks and crannies of their Northeast warehouse, Minneapolis officials announced Monday that they were abandoning their hunt for 133 missing ballots in the U.S. Senate recount.

    — Senate recount: Minneapolis gives up on 133 ballots, but they still have pull

Somebody stuffed a bunch of papers in Toaster’s slots when he was out helping with the recount. After he came home he took them out and put them down somewhere and now can’t find them.

Yikes ….

Peek-a-Boo Bwana
Monday 21 July 2008, 19:43 pm
Filed under: Our Happie Home, Things That Scare Toaster

Blue Velvet contributes:

On talking with your appliances:

About the House: Do You Speak Toaster?

What a wonderful essay!

… screaming at the toaster won’t help.

Trust me: Screaming at the toaster never ever ever works.

Bwana talks to Toaster all the time. Bwana and Toaster have a very good relationship. They used to play peek-a-boo a lot; Bwana is really good at it:

But he scared Toaster pretty bad once, so they had to give that up.

Small appliances tend to not function properly after they’ve been startled.