House of Fullness
Wednesday 28 February 2007, 12:03 pm
Filed under: MLB.TV, Obscure Cultural References, Our Happie Home, Thngs that Mattress Likes

Blue Velvet voices concern in Charge of the Loofah Brigade:

Toaster may have lots of toys, but poor Mattress!

Mattress,how about Loofah By The Inch? (insert a “Hello! here for humorous effect)


Is that a loofah in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Or perhaps a friend would be nice for Mattress:

Houston Mattress Factory

A round mattress? That looks like a jelly doughnut.


Or maybe a curry donut.

Or maybe a sesame glutinous ball. (Wouldn’t want Bwana or Uncle DP to tackle that term, and especially not after reporting on bulging disks.)

Not to worry, re the toys. Life is very full with Toaster, Hoodie Bear, Candelabra, Teapot, the Tofu Guys, etc., etc., and so forth.


Your Message Here
Wednesday 28 February 2007, 11:31 am
Filed under: Our Happie Home, Things That Toaster Likes

Blue Velvet writes:

Toaster, you may find this interesting: Bread as a display device

Boy, that’s a smart toaster!

Our Toaster doesn’t know how to use the telephone.

But now that he has his Magic Markers he can communicate by writing messages on himself. He could earn a little pocket money by being like the billboards at Yankee Stadium:


Bread would, of course, be his preferred commercial product:

He could become a marketing juggernaut!

Technicolor Toaster
Tuesday 27 February 2007, 23:47 pm
Filed under: Our Happie Home, Things That Toaster Likes

On You can loyn a lot from Lydia!:

Blue Velvet writes:
I remember Kermit singing “Lydia” on “The Muppet Show” – if I’m not mistaken, it was to a “tattooed” Miss Piggy (then in her genesis). Fits in well with this being the Year of the Golden Pig.

He did. It was episode 102 in 1976. It used to be on YouTube, but Corporate Suits took it away. Here’s all that is left:

It wasn’t Miss Piggy, but another piggy — which did not sit well with the Queen of Oink.

And we’d like to remind you that while the rest of the world considers this the Year of the Pig, around here it is the Year of the Toaster.

rrgirl adds:
not too long ago, I saw a woman working in a store with the most amazing tattooes. she was rubinesque, to say the least, and dressed in a low-cut top that allowed more than a peek of cleavage. visible just above the neckline was a pair of eyes that roughly aligned with her nipples. huh. what in the world did that look like naked? what other ink was hidden? what a conversation starter…no, I didn’t ask. another mystery. decided that a tattoo would hurt too much, so Bwana bought him a set of erasable Magic Markers. Now Toaster can do his own tattoos and wash them off after he wants to change his look.

Toaster Feet
Monday 26 February 2007, 12:53 pm
Filed under: Electric Shadows, Things That Toaster Likes

Blue Velvet writes in The envelope, please …:

Thank you for your kind words, Toaster!

Interesting that you should like that Oscar, because there is a link between that and the Hollywood Oscar: a few weeks ago on AMC’s Sunday Morning Shootout, the director of “Cars,” John Lasseter, stated he was going to arrive at the Oscars in the Wienermobile.

P.S. The director of your favorite Piggie Movie – George Miller – won for Best Animated Film last night for “Happy Feet,” so all is not lost.

Wow! Spiffo-diffo!

Toaster has happy feet. Toaster’s feet are very happy. Toaster is basically a very happy appliance.

George Miller is a great director. Toaster thinks his oeuvre outshines that of Orson Welles. (Oh, please. Citizen Kane versus the Piggie Movie? No contest.)

Now that Mr. Miller has done piggie and penguin movies, maybe he’ll do a Wienerdog Warrior movie next:

The envelope, please …
Sunday 25 February 2007, 23:25 pm
Filed under: Electric Shadows, Things That Toaster Likes


Toaster doesn’t like the Academy. He hasn’t liked them ever since they didn’t vote the Piggie Movie Best Picture in 1995. That lousy Mel Gibson movie won, and all that did was encourage him. And look where that got us.

Toaster likes Blue Velvet for all the neat-o movie references, obscure and not-so-obscure. He thinks you should get an Oscar.

(Toaster likes this Oscar better.)

Saturday 24 February 2007, 13:45 pm
Filed under: Time Begins on Opening Day

Blue Velvet writes:

Finally, with the advent of spring training (Go Bucs!), here’s an article on strange baseball injuries):

Spring Training Is Here, Beware Those Strange Baseball Injuries

Baseball is a lot more dangerous than people realize. Here’s a list of recent ouchies. No mention of bulging disks, however, which is a good thing as far as Bwana and Uncle DP are concerned. Bwana is hoping that Yankee Carl Pavano recovers from ButtGate, which prevented him from pitching all last season.



Toaster plays hard, too, but luckily he has avoided serious injury. At worst all we have to do is put a Hello Kitty band-aid on him, and then send him back out to play.

He’s a tough little appliance.

If you strike him down, he will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
Friday 23 February 2007, 11:00 am
Filed under: Our Happie Home, Things That Toaster Likes

Blue Velvet queries in Not that long ago in a galaxy not too far away …:

Jawa…or Ob-Wan?

Hokey smokes! You’re right! I got it all wrong!

obi-wan-ben-kenobi.jpg    scary-looking-guy-in-hood.jpg

(Hoodie Bear also points out that Bill is way too tall to be a Jawa.)

And while he doesn’t have a lightsaber, Bill has that headset which he uses to similar effect in crushing his competition.

Toaster thinks the lightsaber is way cooler: