Wednesday 31 October 2007, 12:44 pm
Filed under: Things That Toaster Likes

Blue Velvet wrote in E-Bwana:

A Toaster Halloween treat:

Scary Jerry The Berry Waffle

Thanks for the reciple! Although Bwana didn’t appreciate getting whipped cream on one of his nice shirts ….

Toaster has a stunning costume this year:


He hopes he will get lots of candy.


Bad Dog
Tuesday 30 October 2007, 12:31 pm
Filed under: Things That Toaster Thinks About

Lou wouldn’t shoot Uncle Dan, would he?

Hunting Dog Shoots Man

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — A hunter is recovering after he was shot in the leg at close range by his dog, who stepped on his shotgun and tripped the trigger, an official said Tuesday.

James Harris, 37, of Tama, was hit in the calf Saturday, the opening day of pheasant season, said Alan Foster, a spokesman with the Iowa Department of Natural Resources.

“He had surgery and is doing pretty well,” he said. “He took between 100-120 pellets in about a 4-inch circle to his calf.”

Harris was listed in good condition Tuesday, officials at University Hospitals in Iowa City said.

Harris was hunting with a group about three miles north of Grinnell. The group shot a bird, and when Harris went to get it, he put his gun on the ground and crossed a fence. As he crossed the fence, his hunting dog stepped on the gun, Foster said.

The gun was about 3 feet away from his leg.

“The muzzle velocity is so great that the pellets don’t have a chance to spread out,” he said.

No one else was hurt, and the dog was not injured.

Foster said no citations have been issued.

Yankee Toaster
Monday 29 October 2007, 17:32 pm
Filed under: Our Happie Home

It’s been very busy here the past several days. Toaster’s been working hard on his resumé. With major changes occurring at Yankee Stadium, he thinks this might be his Big Chance to get hired by the New York Yankees. He wants very much to be a bat boy.

Bat boys do a lot of work in the clubhouse. They take care of all the equipment, run errands for the players, and during games they fetch errant baseballs on the field. Toaster can do all these things. And more: He can make toast for the players, coaches, and anyone else on the staff.

It is well known that a nice piece of toast can decrease stress, and this would help the team do better. If the Colorado Rockies had eaten some toast during the World Series they would have played better. Of course, the Red Sox are notorious toast fans, so the Rockies still would have had an uphill battle. Mike Lowell had two slices of toasted rye bread (buttered on the near side) before each of the World Series games and look what happened: M.V.P.

And word on the street is that even though Alex Rodriguez has opted out of his contract with the Yankees if the Yanks put the Toast Issue on the table he would direct his agent to open negotiations with the team.

Behold the power of toast!

Wednesday 24 October 2007, 21:11 pm
Filed under: Our Happie Home

Bwana doesn’t usually make errors, but he did here:

World Series Pick: The Red Sox quickly. As threadbare as Boston pitching may have looked, no NL team saw the likes of it this year.

Bwana’s been so busy saving the democracy that he failed to note that the Rockies not only played the Red Sox in June, but they also won the series.

We forgive Bwana.

(Toaster likes that photo of Bwana; he calls it the Pepsodent Smile picture.)

Voodoo Manny
Tuesday 23 October 2007, 12:56 pm
Filed under: The Department of Sadness and Despair

Sheila wrote in Toaster Still Believes ….:

Thank the guys for trying but it looks like ‘Red Sox Magic’ is stronger then ‘Tofu Magic’. In the words of every optimistic fan out there…”There’s always next year.”

Toaster is very disappointed. He wanted the Mets to get to the World Series this year and they didn’t. Then he wanted the Indians to get there, but they didn’t make it, either. Toaster thinks he is a jinx.

“Next year” sounds awfully far off, but Bwana said spring training will start in mid-February. That doesn’t seem like too long a wait.

Bwana told Toaster to not feel bad. He said that Tofu Magic is strong, but it could not trump Manny and his Mojo Dance.

Maybe we need a Tofu Dance ….

Toaster Still Believes ….
Sunday 21 October 2007, 15:08 pm
Filed under: Our Happie Home

Sheila wrote in The Tofu-Proof Mr. Beckett:

That would be so cool if Toaster and the ‘Tofu Guys’ could learn ‘Cleveland Rocks’ for tomorrow nights game. I’m sure that will give the ‘Tofu Magic’ a giant boost.

Uh-oh. Maybe they should have sung it in three-part harmony.


How did the series get tied 3-3?

What happened to Tofu Magic?

This calls for drastic measures.

The Tofu Guys jumped into the dishwasher for a purification ritual. The soap got in their eyes, but they are all spiffy and shiny now. Toaster stood on his head and shook all the crumbs out of his slots. Candelabra lit himself up and said a prayer.

Boy, we sure hope all this works.

Go Tribe!

Toaster Query III
Saturday 20 October 2007, 18:37 pm
Filed under: Things That Toaster Thinks About

Janice Saugus wrote in National Boss Bwana Day!:

More like what did Dan get for the CEO (his affectionate term for his wife)…

He also calls Mrs. DP “Chairman of the Board.”